The happy ending happened by means of adding a yoke waistband to the giant hole, thereby creating a drawstring skirt. You can view the results below, I think it turned out very nicely.
I am ready for springtime picnics, weekends in the sunshine, outdoor concerts, and cool and breezy evening walks in the neighborhood. Oh, and lets not forget dancing, twirling, and spinning to some good ol' fashioned Texas swing. I am ready for summertime.
into a functional drawstring waist.